Pike Place Market, Seattle 

Hello is there anybody out there? Is there anybody reading my blog? From my viewing stats people are still visiting here. 
So here is my come back... the long awaited come back that you should have absolutely no expectations for. 

I always looked at other peoples stories as a guide more than a story...
Many of their stories became my stories through devotion and wisdom.
90 days & counting I have and plan to sleep in a Queen Oak bed in Seattle.
My toothbrush has a special place and half the mirror cabinet has been cleaned out for me.

I find myself in a routine...
That doesn't necessarily  mean I am in a bad state of mind
nor does it make me ecstatic.
My once  nomadic nonsense has been tamed by a human that feels like home.

Through my extended travels I've learnt that home can be anywhere because I make it for myself.
I just so happened to make it beautiful along side a beautiful person that I have fallen in love with.

Home isn't a place it's a feeling.
Home isn't always associated with a home cooked meal, sometimes a catalogue sale frozen pizza is exactly what fulfills the Sunday night tummy rumbles before the Monday morning blues.
Home is where you make the rational decision to purchase underwear OR to do the laundry... where you lie to yourself nightly that the pots and pans need to soak over night.
Nonetheless home is not a place, home is an emotion.
Home isn't where you came from, home is where you are going.

My once nomadic nonsense has indeed been tamed by my greatest love, to me he is the sea and I have fallen in love with his salt on my skin.

My backpack at an incredibly low weight
En route from New York to San Francisco

Today I spent multiple hours replying to emails from my readers. 85% of the emails consisted of the same questions, so I've decided to write a post so everyone can have access to some of these answers!

Let's get this started...

First of all I wasn't prepared for my extended travels, realistically this now 370 days of travel was originally a mere 90 days...

Sooooo I was as lost as most of you are right now.

I had absolutely no knowledge of Couch Surfing.

I never owned a backpack. 

I never hitch hiked.

I was a virgin solo traveler.

I learnt on the road literally.

I over packed and I under packed. Clueless me lugged a 40 kg suitcase around Alaska for 2 months until I finally purchased a 50% off backpack at a family run camping store. Since then I've never looked back. 

No more suitcases for me. 

I find it incredibly liberating to carry everything I own on my back. The pure appreciation I have for my own strength and durability. 

I definitely recommend investing in a back pack! My suggestion would be to spend some quality time at your local camping store. 

[It's like a glass slipper you'll know when it's the perfect fit]

 The backpack is defiantly a make or break for your travels. You need comfort, durability and the right capacity for the duration.

If you are traveling in the colder months you will usually require a larger pack due to bulkiness of gear.

Like majority of materialistic items it's reasonably cheaper on the internet. Rule of thumb - DO NOT BUY STRAIGHT OFF THE INTERNET. 

Speaking on behalf of my own personal experiences with online shopping it's always a bad idea buying straight offline without trying on.

So hurry along & spend a good portion of your day trying on backpacks. It might not sound fun but I promise it'll be worth it...

You and that backpack will have some incredible experiences together.

Speak to the sale assistants and do your research! 

If you find the love of your life backpack online for a portion of the recommended retail price - add it to your basket & enter your credit card details!

✓

So now you have your backpack... what's next?

It's all dependent on your travel goals.

How do you want to accommodate yourself?

I personally use couch surfing - it's basically a global social networking platform that lets travelers link up with people willing to offer them lodging at their home for free.

I've previously dedicated an entire post explaining the social network →  What is couch surfing?

I'm living proof that a single, young, SOLO female traveler can travel around the United States & Canada for over a year staying on strangers couches for free.

I do not promote hitch hiking but I do promote couch surfing. It's based upon references and your account gets verified.

I've stayed at 85 strangers houses and yet to have a bad experience.

All those strangers where just friends waiting to happen

So it sounds great but how do I convince my parents that I'm going to be ok? How did you go about it?

It's always been hard for me to explain myself. The most dreaded question one could ask me is: Describe yourself in a few words.

Since I've couch surfed I get written references from people I meet from all around the world. Telling me their honest opinion.

Majority of them use the same words even if they are typing in incredibly broken english - fun, persistent, loud, respectful - has a contagious smile...

One key thing about me is if I want something I'll go out and I'll get it. If I set my mind to something it's gonna happen.

I wanted to travel the world so I told my parents. I didn't care if they said no because I'd still go and do it. 

This is my life and I am in charge of my happiness. 

I wasn't happy in my hometown so it's obvious that I had to leave before I self destructed...

My parents wouldn't be parents if they held their daughter back from living her dreams and being happy.

You want to loose weight - exercise and watch your calorie intake 

You aren't happy in your relationship - speak to your partner & if it doesn't change. End it

You want to see the world. Go and see it.

Take charge. 

Stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something about it.

For god sake breathe that fucking air and live your life. 

I never realized how quickly life can be taken away from you until my 17 year old friend died in a car accident last year. I know she wanted to see the world but she didn't. 

I dedicate my travel to you Sam, you just didn't get the chance.

But you do. Whoever it is reading this, you have the chance. You are breathing that is a reason enough. I don't care if you are 16, 22, 34, or 68.

I've backpacked with a 84 year old & I've backpacked with a family with 2 children aged 4 & 8.

It doesn't matter if your parents aren't going to support you emotionally. So be it if you are a disappointment in their eyes.

If they feel like that it's because they have unresolved issues and expectations. Someday they'll understand & if they don't theres a time when you need to take charge of your life & let go of the negativity. 

Your parents love you too much to let you explore the world?

Love isn't holding someone back

At some point parents need to learn to let go.

Who the fuck wants to surround themselves around people who hold them back? Regardless if they are your parents.

You aren't going to regret what you've done you'll regret what you didn't.What are you willing to let go of so you can live the life you know you deserve?

- To be continued -

Monicas apartment from the TV series Friends 
12 Grove St, New York 10014

Throughout my education I changed schools 5 times & I didn't even make it to senior year. Every last day at a school I vowed that I would stay friends with the people I shared my lunch times with.

Naive pubescent me broke that vow 5 times over with an exception of 3 people...

I didn't understand.
How could the people I scavenged for food with after school not be my friends anymore? The ones that I shared the greatest part of my school day with: Lunch time.

Why aren't they my friends anymore?
We still had the weekends? 
Why didn't we hang out on the weekends?
Why did I move schools the second time let alone the third, fourth and fifth?

It was a continuos cycle that I prepared sadness.

The bitter realization that friends forever sometimes doesn't actually mean forever maybe just the duration of the school years. 
Maybe those friendships only existed in the classrooms because we all were forced 8am - 3 pm, 5 days a week.

We didn't choose each other. Our last names chose us to be in same science class. We got along because you laughed at my sly jokes, now you don't. 

I don't even follow you on instagram.

It wasn't their fault for not making an effort after I left, I didn't make the effort. 
Life is indeed a two way street.

What it comes down to is that you can't just hold onto a relationship because it's familiar.
You can't just clasp onto a friendship from the past to talk about the past.

We grow older and I guess something you have to learn as a young adult is we don't loose friends we just learn who the real ones are. Sometimes I feel like that's one of the hardest lessons I've had to come to terms with.

The first time and the thirty - second. It will always be hard loosing contact with someone.

A stranger who walks the streets with my secrets & stories in their head going along with their daily life.

I too now walk the streets next to people that make me laugh so hard that I forget the bad and focus solely on the good.

Remember: Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave and impossible to forget.  You will never reminisce about a good friend because they'll be the ones right next to you

Empire state of mind in the concrete jungle of New York City,
Sunset at the top of the rock.

Lately I haven't had the passion for many things. So writing an inspirational post for my readers when I have barely enough passion to travel has been difficult.

I usually don't have writers block but for the past few weeks every time I sit in front of my computer with tea easily accessible I want to do everything & anything but write. I'll chug my tea like it's a girls night out then get up and make another round.I'll think about the witty comments I could of said at the bar last night, or what it's going to be like when I get home.

Homeee. I never knew one word could bring so much comfort yet so much distress to my state of mind.

This exact time last year I was packing my bags. As the morning of April 24th quickly approaches it's making me feel more and more... well to be honest I don't know how that makes me feel exactly. 

A little fulfilled yet distraught? 

It's these insignificant dates that allow us to focus on a significant thing - making us only recognize on the specific day?
( Does that even make any sense? It does for me... ) 

February 14th, December 25th. We should show affection to our partners every day not just on Valentines and we should reflect on our religious views and see family more than once a year at Christmas .

It's like these dates have control of us, why make one day just so special?

I was thinking... if someone dies we are filled with sadness, correct? Time passes and it does get easier but once the anniversary comes around it fills us with the memories and it's sometimes the hardest day of the year.

It makes us realize how much we have accomplished and how far we've had to climb.

So I guess it's this 1 year anniversary thats playing with my mind. 1 year since I left the comfort and security of my hometown for the world...

 My backpack and I creating memories together for one whole year. 

I have the ultimate reflection with the title of '1 year anniversary'. Obviously I've been reflecting more in depth than usual. To think I stand 10 thousand + miles to where I was last year today. The physical and mental distance.

For the past 4 years I've battled with depression, eating disorders, bullying, heart break, compulsive behavior. Sadness.

I've been running a race for the past 4 years and it've been brutal sometimes I don't know how I'm here. But I am. Today I crossed the finish line. Everything that I have ever been through, every fucking thing that broke me and tore me apart is gone. It's out of my life. I've concurred it all and I have a story to tell.

Prior to writing this post I read my journal from last year I skipped to today. The opening line was Current Mission: Cliche journey of finding myself by traveling the globe.

Today my journal entry was 2 simple words. 2 words that gently poured from my lips... Mission Complete.

It's ironic that I lived all those years without knowing who I was. 
It's sad that people can live their whole life not knowing who they are.
What's the worst is that some people know who they are they just don't take inactive to be themselves. 

If theres only one thing I can take out of being a human being on planet earth it is to live a life I want to live. I will surround myself with positivity, stand up for what I believe in and be the change that I wish to see in the world.

Because our life is a series of missions waiting to be completed. 
You may as well enjoy them.

A week since my last post? You might think I'm slack but realistically my laptop charger is slack. Once a month for a few days she decides to not function and be a complete bitch to me... I think we can all relate.

2 weeks ago I was in Miami, 10 days ago I was in New Jersey, 5 days since I was hailing down taxis in New York and 1 day since I was in Toronto - Canada. It's been a busy & well traveled fortnight.

G'day Miss Lady liberty

I type this from a Starbucks next to Parliament house in Ottawa - the capital of Canada. I'm sipping on some coconut water and munching down on a blueberry granola bar.

I'm sitting on a brown wooden chair with terrible posture and my feet up on the ledge of the window. I'm bundled up in Cashmere, jean & fleece. 

I don't really have a destination for this blog post... well even in life I don't have a destination. But I'll type what's on my mind.

Lately I've been having this weird recurrence & I don't know if it's a sign or revelation of some sort?

1/3 people that I share a brief glance with looks like someone I know? Not in a we are all children of God way... I'm seriously seeing my friends, peers & acquaintances in the faces that I'm seeing?

If it's what they looked like a few years back, present or what they'll look like when they age. It's happened for the past 4 days & I have no idea what the fuck is up.

Maybe I'm homesick? Maybe I'm seeing things? Maybe I'm the star of my own supernatural series? Or maybe I'm not going crazy and these Canadians are just Australian relatives - I mean we share the same Queen?

Anyone else ever experienced this? Seriously email me!

My laptops on a sad 10 percent, my coconut water needs a refill and my blueberry granola bar is currently getting digested by my internal organs. Maybe if the other 50 people in this Starbucks hovered away from the power point and let this amateur/ avid writer a chance to charge her Macbook Pro this post could be a little better. 

So I am not to blame people? It's society, I'm totally kidding. 

Till then take care
Write to you soon x

It's the little things

It's the little things that I notice most in people. Do they hold their cup of coffee by  the handle or let both hands gently cradle it?Does she seek others approval when speaking or does he press his lips together when changing gears? 

How vulnerable they all are when they roll over and reach for the snooze button. 

I believe that everything we do defines who we are. The emotions that are deep inside us are portrayed in our daily life as much as we hide from speaking, as much as we distract ourselves from noticing. 

My favorite little thing is when people laugh and they continue to smile moments after the joke was told instead of transitioning straight back into a blank expression. They continue to be filled with joy moments after it's over, they look away and continue to smile as they dream of another moment. 

They are content. 

Maybe I do invest more time into the little things than I probably should... but I like to. It's something I've learned to do while traveling since I don't have history with majority of the people I meet. I have to get to know them in a short amount of time. 

By no means is it judging - it's observing.

It's who they are... 

I love getting to know a person truly based on our face to face encounter. No preconceived bullshit versions from ex lovers or prior Facebook conversations that broke the ice. 

I love that raw first encounter with someone. THE awkward moment when you don't know if you should hug, shake hands or wave, so you do a awkward shuffle as the greeting.

I love the feeling of being an anonymous in a city I've never been to before. No one has expectations of the no name traveler... 

To be the traveler that I am I had to leave my old self behind. This was my chance to let go of all the stereotypes, stories and expectations people had of me. The ones that can make or break a teenager.

The ex lovers, backstabbers and negativity have been banished. All the energy that I invested in hanging onto the past was holding me back from living. 

It took me up until now to realize that people don't judge you as much as you think they do because they are too busy thinking about what other people think of them. 

Isn't that liberating? 

To find yourself and be who you are in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is one of the greatest accomplishments of all. 

This is your chance.

Through these extended travels I am constantly reminded of the brief lengths and the narrow breadths in which our lives are confined...

He kept telling me what I was doing was a truly great thing. That when I am older and reflect back on these travels I will cherish them forever.He looked at my backpack and began to tell me that he always wished he did something adventurous in his youth. Like hitch hiking cross-country or sailing from island to island. I felt incredibly sad to be hearing this from a human being, as if he had no hopes of fulfillment… never to have a chance to live his dreams.

The part that broke my heart is that he considered it was too late and that his life was practically over…
A senior who has lived 4 times the amount of life compared to me a teenager. The home stretch of our life should be our best... maybe not physically, sexually, or socially but it's the time when we mentally tick the boxes. It's not a time for regret it's the time that we make things happen, there literally is no better time then those years. The bitter realization will dawn that soon we become part of this earth.

Sometimes I feel like a freeloader. Even though the people that open their car doors and front doors are doing it willingly. I try to repay those people but not in a materialistic way… I may not give them pieces of paper with dollars signs. I try and give them more than that = Inspiration, experiences, encouragement and fulfillment. You know all that 'cliche' stuff that majority of us don't give. The stuff we read on quotes that smother our news feeds of social media. The sentences we preach but never practice. 

So I sat down with Joe and we spoke over a coffee and blueberry muffin - no butter of course he's trying to keep an eye on his blood pressure... An afternoon filled with reflection, caffeine, stories, tears and laughter.

It came time that I had to head out. He asked if he could watch me pick up my backpack and walk out the Cafe doors across the road into the pine trees after I kindly declined a lift as I was close to my destination. As I pushed open the front door to the cafe I turned around to see Joe's emotions get the better of him, we exchanged a brief wave and I embarked on another journey.


I left Joe 7 months ago in a small town of Alaska. 

Recently I received an email from Joe and he's doing well. He built up the courage and him and his girlfriend are going on a train ride cross country from East Coast to West Coast of the United States. Joe 73 and Patricia 68. He told me that if he never picked up that hitch hiker on the Alaskan Highway on that warm summers afternoon with a backpack bigger than herself he wouldn't have built up the courage to live his dream. That girl with the backpack bigger than herself was me. I'm making Joe live his dream. That's the biggest accomplishment in these past 11 months. 





May the space between where you are and where you want to be inspire yourself and others around you...